A Modest Holiday Proposal

One Christmas, my mom remarked on seeing the sun, that “it’s such a nice day, it doesn’t feel like Christmas.” So, aside from her implication that a normal Christmas should feel gloomy and miserable, I do prefer to see at least some snow.

Most adults dread the weather, what with the slip-n-slide driving conditions, slush in the socks, and your frozen skin fusing with the window scraper, but everyone seems to make an exception for snow on Christmas. Our favorite Christmas movies and animated claymation specials help drive home the essential association of snow as an integral tradition for the season.

Of course, we celebrated so many different traditions every year, including stockings, various gift exchanges, pierogis, crowded couches of aunts and uncles with cigarettes and cans of Old Style or highball glasses of scotch and soda. So many glorious memories of all the adults shouting over each other, as they exchanged blustering, jovial stories and memories of Christmases past.

I suspect we didn’t always have snow, but my memory seems to trick me into thinking we did, the same way it blocks out that time I stuck my finger in the electric socket to see what was really in there. Only one year did the snow actually work up to a blizzard, such that we had to stay home and skip that year of our rapid fire holiday family parties.

Even as traditions changed, due to extended families building their own extended families, and wives tossing their own family schedules into the mix, snow remained a key element of the holiday.

I did seem to crave the constant rhythm of the packed holiday schedule as I started my own family. It wasn’t until I moved to California, and we couldn’t afford to fly home for Thanksgiving, that I discovered the magic of a do-nothing holiday. We had no snow, but we made up for that with a 20-pound turkey and so, so many wonderful leftovers. Nothing on the schedule at all. Just PJs and lounging around on the couch, feeling like kids again without a care in the world.

I did not miss all that running around one bit. But, I did miss the snow. In fact, one of my favorite memories from childhood came from the year the blizzard made us stop all the chaos and insanity. Of course, the snow was amaze-tastic, but it was one of the few times that life slowed down enough for my family to relax and spend time together without a schedule or any of the usual expectations.

Outside of its power to force everyone to literally slow down, I believe the magic of snow comes from how it transforms the world around us. The air sounds crisp and muffled, as the snow softens the landscape and dampers the sound waves. So, we feel closer, and we appreciate each moment as it stops us in our tracks. The snow covers everything in our path, dulling the sharp edges, and essentially blurring the real world from view.

This year Chicago got rain, and once again I heard from several people that it doesn’t feel like Christmas. Unfortunately, we can’t control the weather, and the weather keeps changing. So, I propose we stop fighting the unpredictable weather and bring back the key element guaranteed to make it feel like Christmas.

I suggest we change how we schedule Christmas. We simply have to agree that the first snowfall to rise above an inch will trigger the Christmas holiday. (The snow must stick to the sidewalk.)

Of course, you would have to have some decorations at the ready. To make this plan work, we would have to change our perspective on what it means to decorate. Minimal designs would become the key. All the stores would need to start selling minimal holiday sets in a box at the end of August, so we could prepare for that surprise holiday moment.

Then, when the big day comes, we can rush home, pull out the Christmas in a box, light up the room with project lights and... well, I obviously haven’t thought it all the way through, but I’m sure the traditions will build themselves over time. Designers and retailers will solve it. They always find a way. Soon enough, we’ll have stacks of Christmas in a box sets in July, then in June, and eventually the dream… I can leave my Christmas lights up forever!

I decree it. Christmas is now a floating holiday. While we’re at it, we should think about a national birthday holiday, so we can all take off of work to celebrate our birthday. We just have to add one day to the calendar, without a name, so we aren’t favoring anyone’s actual birthday. And we keep moving it every year. Like one year, it’s between March 3rd and March 4th. Another year, it’s in December. For every child born on this holiday, the parents could pick the previous or following day as the official birth date... no need to overthink it.

Let’s start with the roaming Christmas and go from there. We just have to wait for that snow.