I tweeted when my cable went out this weekend. Here is the exchange.
To my delight, the companies seemed interested in competing for me. It made me feel loved for just a moment, until I realized it’s the same as looking through my snail mail: two more virtual flyers with a call of action to get my hundreds of dollars. Of course, this version feels just a little more interactive and immediate, which carries a little bit more of a punch. It reminds me of my value in the grand scheme of capitalism.
Sure, you could look at it from the typical cynical perspective. You could say they are fighting for a chance to grab me by the ankles, shake me upside down, until the dollars, credit cards and magic lint fall from my pockets. That is the mentality of business, really. How can they get my money to help grow their little fledgling monopoly? Or, if you’re the pockets-half-full type, you could consider it a reminder that they get nowhere without my falling dollars.
After a round of negotiations with SherryO, I experienced a period of radio silence. I was worried. Did SherryO take a day off, or did I say something to upset her? Was she playing hardball with her UFamily package offer? Or, had she moved on to some other more promising, more exiting tweeting customer? I was up all night, kicking myself. Have you ever tried to kick yourself? It’s good exercise.
Once I finally reminded myself that I have a strong marriage, a roof over my head, and a good job, I was able to calm myself off the ledge of cable negotiations. Then, an hour after that, I heard back from SherryO. Turns out I was able to save a few dollars, but had to lose HBO in the process. Where was JS from Time Warner during negotiations? Who knows! Time Warner showed no interest in keeping me. So, I guess they won’t miss me.
Despite the decreased cable bill, I’m still stuck with their antiquated system of paying for all the channels, instead of a la carte. I’ve heard that the model helps the smaller, less funded channels to stay on the air. Or the more subtle reason might be because: TRILLION DOLLAR MONOPOLY.
The alternative is cutting the cord. I would cut the cord right now, but Netflix and Hulu are missing a few key shows that my adorable wife adores. The cable companies stay in business because we all like the convenience of a wide range of shows easily accessible with the touch of a button, even if the prices feel outrageous.
If I cut the cord, it’s not a big deal in the grand scheme of things for them. However, the more we hear stories of people complaining about their cable company, the more it must weigh on the back of their minds – what if this cutting the cord becomes a trend?
Their actions in general don’t really make it seem like they have any worries. Except the tweets. They gave me hope. The subtext is that they need people bad enough that they will resort to any interaction possible, even if it means getting down in the dirt of social media.
If we all wised up, and recognized that these conglomerates need ALL OF US to perpetrate their uber-riches, we could all cut the cord at the same time, and bring them to their knees and submissive to our will.
Imagine the DMs from the CEO:
Please! For the love of all that is holy and right, please take us back! You want #HGTV? You got it! $2 per month? #ialwayslovedyou